February 21, 1902

All theologians and literary men, who have given attention to their studies, know there is a theological college in the University of Paris, called the Sorbonne, after its founder, Robert de Sorbonne. The functions of this college are somewhat analogous to that of the Jewish Sanhedrim. That is, as we understand, it has the decision of theological questions, and all matters pertaining to ecclesiastical law. It is not my intention to write a history of the Jewish Sanhedrim, nor a thesis on the Sorbonne of the University of Paris; my simple object, in this preamble, which contains many words to introduce a small subject, is to inform the distant reader and the unenlightened ones in this town, that we have a Sorbonne in Milton. It is not attached to the University, nor is-its scholastic menu drawn from the A. B’s, the Ph. D’s, nor the D. C. L.’s of the country. Its meetings are informal and it number among its visitors and impromptu debaters, some of the wisest men of the town——as they think. The last question under discussion, is one of much interest; it was sprung upon the meeting rather unexpectedly by Prof. Leonard[i]; and at present remains undecided. We made a casual reference to this subject in our communication of last week. The question in a nutshell is this: If bone must return to bone, at the last day, there will be no women in eternity. Adam must have his rib, and if Adam gets his rib where is the woman to come from: seeing she was formed from Adam’s rib. This is the way Prof. Leonard puts it, and as yet the learned Doctors of the Milton Sorbonne have been unable to refute Prof. Leonard’s argument, or drive him from his position. Prof. Leonard is very caustic in his markers, and often becomes sarcastic. The question is still in abeyance.

The service of song that has been laid over for three weeks, came off at the M. P. Church on Sunday evening. It was a departure from the regular routine of church work, and is pronounced to have been a -decided success. It will be repeated.

Grand Muster W. M. Hearn, of Laurel, visited Golden Rule Lodge. No. 17, I. O. O. F.[ii], on Wednesday evening of last week, and had a friendly and official converse with that body.

Neibert, the shoemaker, has removed his business from its former location to the Prettyman property, near the Hart House.

Mr. Edwin P. Johnson, engaged at railroading in West Pennsylvania, is home for a few days.

Mrs. Cotrell, of North Milton, on account of the damp weather, hung some underclothes near the stove to dry. Having business in another part of the house, when she returned the clothes had taken fire from the stove and were consumed.

Mr. Joe Lank, of the Milton Trust Company, appeared in bank this morning with a swelled face, plentifully daubed with anodyne. When asked the reason of his metamorphosis, be said: “I sat up with a girl last night who had the toothache, and she gave me the neuralgia.”

Arthur Welch, son of John B. Welch, of this town, who has been working with Mr. John Lank, of Philadelphia, has removed to 1113 Morton Building, 116 Nassau Street, New York. The firm’s name is, “The National Electric Appliance Company.”

At the annual election of officers at the M. P. Sunday School, held on Sunday afternoon, the following persons were selected: President, George Davidson; vice president, Winfield Wright; secretary, Miss Fannie Leonard; treasurer, Mrs. Florence Johnson; organist, Miss Lulu Warrington; assistant organist, Miss May Atkins[iii]. The same corps of teachers was unanimously re-elected. The protracted meeting at this church has about ceased, after a continuance-of four weeks. There have been six probationers admitted to the church, and much other good accomplished.


The above communication was written for the issue of last week, but by neglect was not mailed. In fact, it was overlooked until too late. So much for entrusting one’s business with someone else.

The worst snow-storm of the winter commenced on Sunday evening; and on Monday, morning a regular blizzard prevailed. This condition of weather has been threatened for many days, and it is now hoped a more delightful atmosphere may prevail. On Monday morning the streets were blockaded, the schools were closed, and 21 general quarantine was enforced, much against the wills of the many. At the present writing—Monday evening–snow is again threatened. There [several paragraphs were partially or totally obscured here.] …

…when she suddenly slipped and fell, but she slipped to rise again.“ and when she arose we were discussing the question of the Isthmain canal[iv]. “O, Mr.——” said she, “did you see me fall?” “Certainly,” said the writer. “Please don’t mention it. “ “l’ll mention no name.” Jesters express agent has made no trips to date. The mail has been carried on horseback; with a driver. The Milton schools opened on Tuesday.

Christian Jensen, a Dane, who has been quite an active farmer near Milton for many years, ls seriously ill with paralysis and pneumonia.


[i] “Prof.” Leonard is James Leonard, father of Fannie Leonard, a Sunday school teacher in the Milton M. P. Church. This paragraph is David A. Conner writing in a Mark Twain style. Reference to the Milton “Sorbonne / Sanhedrim” would turn up again in Conner’s columns throughout the years, although “Professor” Leonard would become “Doctor” Leonard.

[ii] Independent Order of Odd Fellows; a benevolent fraternal organization derived from the British Oddfellows service organizations of the 18th century.

[iii] “May” Atkins is probably Mary E. M. Atkins, who was a member of the Milton M. P. Church. “May” was a common nickname for “Mary” in the 19th and early 20th centuries, as “Fannie” was a common nickname for “Frances” and “Sallie” or “Sally” for “Sarah.”

[iv] The “Isthmian” canal is what we now call the Panama Canal. In 1902, the U.S. project to build the canal had not yet begun; negotiations would be undertaken later that year with the Colombian government to secure the rights necessary to restart and complete the failed French project. Work would not begin until Panamanian rebels seceded from Colombia with the support of the U.S. military, declared independence, and granted the rights required to the U.S., all in 1903.